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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy."  Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Humor Under The KeyboardsFor me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faul... read more How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, w... read more Cant Get There From HereJuneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywher... read more 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding HelmetA welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, the... read more Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To TearsEvidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit la... read more Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying ThatMovie moments are nice things to share with the people you care about. Most of those share... read more Silver Linings Are EverywhereViagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's face it; there is little that has been d... read more Important Safety Tip$I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've m... read more [Not So] Outgoing MailI am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theor... read more The Worlds First Comedian?If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must be sincerely old. That's because he a... read more Playing Go-Between in the Digital AgeNOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grand... read more Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest TalkingToday, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a g... read more New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble BurstAre we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New O... read more Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the GymOne of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise eq... read more If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)Banish Loans Forever If ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very firs... read more |
A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer JokesLawyer Jokes Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer? A: She has an extreme craving for baloney. Q: What is the legal definition of "Appeal"? A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store. Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12? A: Your Honor. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"? A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony. Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A: Jewelry. Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions? A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari. Q: What's the difference between lawyers and accountants? A: At least accountants know they're boring. Stories: 1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime. 2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died." 3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?" 4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone." And finally: You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes. Richard Chapo is a San Diego business lawyer with http://www.sandiegob usinesslawfirm.com and is rumored to have a sense of humor. Then again, you never know with rumors. |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories |