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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy."  Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Humor Under The KeyboardsFor me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faul... read more Tales of a Spectator SpectatorWatching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. ... read more Funny Things We DreamI often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whac... read more Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great TomatoJimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had t... read more When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing TimesThis morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to the spiritual journe... read more A French Teachers Memories: First Day at SchoolDespite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, ... read more 11 Alternative Garden GamesTired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Wea... read more The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think o... read more Bed Bugs BiteI just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why there weren't news flashes regardi... read more Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest TalkingToday, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a g... read more The Jokes On You -- Who Should be the Butt of Your Jokes?This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand) about the performance of a lo... read more 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding HelmetA welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, the... read more Sweet Vengeance PurrfectedI love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me ... read more [Not So] Outgoing MailI am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theor... read more Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from CheerleadingThanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea of cheerleaders as being d... read more |
A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer JokesLawyer Jokes Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer? A: She has an extreme craving for baloney. Q: What is the legal definition of "Appeal"? A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store. Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12? A: Your Honor. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"? A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony. Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A: Jewelry. Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions? A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari. Q: What's the difference between lawyers and accountants? A: At least accountants know they're boring. Stories: 1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime. 2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died." 3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?" 4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone." And finally: You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes. Richard Chapo is a San Diego business lawyer with http://www.sandiegob usinesslawfirm.com and is rumored to have a sense of humor. Then again, you never know with rumors. |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories |