EggJr

"if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy."


Egg Junior says tighten-up!

Funny Things We Dream

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now I'm up before the alarm clock most mornings, and I don't grumble, not as often as I used to anyway. I'm often anxious to see what the day will bring.

I think I've stumbled upon the reason for my early rise and my cheery outlook. My wife. Yes, she brightens up my days and has given me tremendous motivation, though she still sleeps later than I do, and she tends to grumble, though not too badly.

There's another reason, and this also involves my wife. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, and she makes me laugh. More so, I think a happy attitude is contagious, and the reason I wake up happy might be this: my wife laughs in her sleep.

I kid you not. She laughs out loud. So loud that I'm frequently awakened by her nocturnal guffaws. Sometimes it begins as a chuckle, but many times the laughter just erupts, like she just saw the funniest thing in the world. How can I help but be amused and feel happy myself when I'm treated to this many nights out of a week.

There's more... while still asleep, she tells me what she was laughing about. Here's are the most recent accounts...

One night she rolls over and begins her laughing. I wake up, and wait for her to settle down. Then I ask "What's so funny?"

I wasn't expecting a response, but to my surprise she answered me while still sound asleep. She said "Mrs. Juniper said the juniper wouldn't grow much taller than two feet, but she planted it and the damn thing took off, and it's still growing! Ha ha ha ha...." Then she began to snore again.

I shook my head, rolled over and settled in for the remainder of the night, knowing that we'd both get a kick out the story when I recalled it the following day. We did.

The most recent episode was even better, stranger. This time it seemed like I was already awake before she started laughing, maybe she had been chuckling first and that roused me. Either way, when she stopped her laughter I decided to see if she would talk again.

I asked "Okay, what's so funny this time?"

Her reply was classic. A truly original rambling by a sleeping brain. She said "Orville Redenbacher's plane wouldn't fly so they were trying to hang Orville Redenbacher's plane over the bed by a string. Ha ha ha ha...." Then she conked out.

Again I shook my head, rolled over and anticipated the break of day, when I would share the tale from her sleeping brain with her alert brain. I couldn't wait to see her reaction.

I ask you, being a natural marvel, capable of great intellect, doesn't the human brain have better things to think about? The mechanics of slumbering gray matter perplex me.

Why she laughs in her sleep I don't know, but I'm glad she does. I'm happily married, and I assure you, that will never change!

I'm looking forward to more of her one liners from la-la-land. Can there be more? I'll keep you posted. Heck, if I collect enough maybe I'll write a book!

That's all for now. From my funny little spot in the universe, I bid you well.

Over and out.

Drew Vics, an artist, writer & musician from New Jersey, writes for http://www.Myey ez.net, and for other websites online.

Starbucks Going into Hilton

Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Pari... read more

Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato

Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had t... read more

Essential Laughter

Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It is so refreshing to just lau... read more

Lactose Intolerant? It could be a good thing

Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions. Lactose intolerant ind... read more

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. ... read more

Humans are like Monkeys

Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities t... read more

25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet

A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, the... read more

Sell [Your] Phones

Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She... read more

American Independence ? The True Story

It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective m... read more

Its All About Seeing the Signs

Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest o... read more

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built ... read more

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. T... read more

Mexican Spaminator

When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my min... read more

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me ... read more

A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School

Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, ... read more




EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories
Cheap Bulgarian Property | Panthers Tickets | Create The Right Web Image