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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy." Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Do Americans Really Understand Irony?Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go... read more Mexican SpaminatorWhen we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my min... read more If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?IF, An Online Internet Marketing Poem If before you have turned on the coffee, or go... read more Not Your Average Sunday MorningJust recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his vacation. In the course of smal... read more Humans are like MonkeysHumans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities t... read more Space, and the Room for ItSpace exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it. Stopping Bad Breath Bart"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week." Wanted: Treadmill for an ElephantMaggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983... read more Military WivesDumb LuckI've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor ... read more Marines Dont Take Crap11 Alternative Garden GamesTired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Wea... read more Eye Spy PotatoesLately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses still in my eyes. And... read more The Work-from-home Fashion PrimerLast week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had cho... read more Voodoo MunchiesLooking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disrupti... read more |
Funny Things We DreamI often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now I'm up before the alarm clock most mornings, and I don't grumble, not as often as I used to anyway. I'm often anxious to see what the day will bring. I think I've stumbled upon the reason for my early rise and my cheery outlook. My wife. Yes, she brightens up my days and has given me tremendous motivation, though she still sleeps later than I do, and she tends to grumble, though not too badly. There's another reason, and this also involves my wife. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, and she makes me laugh. More so, I think a happy attitude is contagious, and the reason I wake up happy might be this: my wife laughs in her sleep. I kid you not. She laughs out loud. So loud that I'm frequently awakened by her nocturnal guffaws. Sometimes it begins as a chuckle, but many times the laughter just erupts, like she just saw the funniest thing in the world. How can I help but be amused and feel happy myself when I'm treated to this many nights out of a week. There's more... while still asleep, she tells me what she was laughing about. Here's are the most recent accounts... One night she rolls over and begins her laughing. I wake up, and wait for her to settle down. Then I ask "What's so funny?" I wasn't expecting a response, but to my surprise she answered me while still sound asleep. She said "Mrs. Juniper said the juniper wouldn't grow much taller than two feet, but she planted it and the damn thing took off, and it's still growing! Ha ha ha ha...." Then she began to snore again. I shook my head, rolled over and settled in for the remainder of the night, knowing that we'd both get a kick out the story when I recalled it the following day. We did. The most recent episode was even better, stranger. This time it seemed like I was already awake before she started laughing, maybe she had been chuckling first and that roused me. Either way, when she stopped her laughter I decided to see if she would talk again. I asked "Okay, what's so funny this time?" Her reply was classic. A truly original rambling by a sleeping brain. She said "Orville Redenbacher's plane wouldn't fly so they were trying to hang Orville Redenbacher's plane over the bed by a string. Ha ha ha ha...." Then she conked out. Again I shook my head, rolled over and anticipated the break of day, when I would share the tale from her sleeping brain with her alert brain. I couldn't wait to see her reaction. I ask you, being a natural marvel, capable of great intellect, doesn't the human brain have better things to think about? The mechanics of slumbering gray matter perplex me. Why she laughs in her sleep I don't know, but I'm glad she does. I'm happily married, and I assure you, that will never change! I'm looking forward to more of her one liners from la-la-land. Can there be more? I'll keep you posted. Heck, if I collect enough maybe I'll write a book! That's all for now. From my funny little spot in the universe, I bid you well. Over and out. Drew Vics, an artist, writer & musician from New Jersey, writes for http://www.Myey ez.net, and for other websites online. |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories |
