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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy." Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Important Safety Tip$I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've m... read more The Jokes On You -- Who Should be the Butt of Your Jokes?This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand) about the performance of a lo... read more Silver Linings Are EverywhereViagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's face it; there is little that has been d... read more How I Spent my Summer VacationOne of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant antic... read more Finding Lost ChildrenA couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying th... read more Not Your Average Sunday MorningJust recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his vacation. In the course of smal... read more To See Or Not To SeeI went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. It ... read more Wanted: Treadmill for an ElephantMaggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983... read more Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the GymOne of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise eq... read more Valet Parking: Theft with ConsentThis column is long overdue. To put it in library terms, which I guess I already did (but ... read more 3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas PricesI have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline... read more The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing BreachThe Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. T... read more Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former Student Poor Rix ate lu... read more [Not So] Outgoing MailI am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theor... read more Computers According to CarolA is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle. B is for Backup: always look in your ... read more |
Funny Things We DreamI often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. Now I'm up before the alarm clock most mornings, and I don't grumble, not as often as I used to anyway. I'm often anxious to see what the day will bring. I think I've stumbled upon the reason for my early rise and my cheery outlook. My wife. Yes, she brightens up my days and has given me tremendous motivation, though she still sleeps later than I do, and she tends to grumble, though not too badly. There's another reason, and this also involves my wife. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, and she makes me laugh. More so, I think a happy attitude is contagious, and the reason I wake up happy might be this: my wife laughs in her sleep. I kid you not. She laughs out loud. So loud that I'm frequently awakened by her nocturnal guffaws. Sometimes it begins as a chuckle, but many times the laughter just erupts, like she just saw the funniest thing in the world. How can I help but be amused and feel happy myself when I'm treated to this many nights out of a week. There's more... while still asleep, she tells me what she was laughing about. Here's are the most recent accounts... One night she rolls over and begins her laughing. I wake up, and wait for her to settle down. Then I ask "What's so funny?" I wasn't expecting a response, but to my surprise she answered me while still sound asleep. She said "Mrs. Juniper said the juniper wouldn't grow much taller than two feet, but she planted it and the damn thing took off, and it's still growing! Ha ha ha ha...." Then she began to snore again. I shook my head, rolled over and settled in for the remainder of the night, knowing that we'd both get a kick out the story when I recalled it the following day. We did. The most recent episode was even better, stranger. This time it seemed like I was already awake before she started laughing, maybe she had been chuckling first and that roused me. Either way, when she stopped her laughter I decided to see if she would talk again. I asked "Okay, what's so funny this time?" Her reply was classic. A truly original rambling by a sleeping brain. She said "Orville Redenbacher's plane wouldn't fly so they were trying to hang Orville Redenbacher's plane over the bed by a string. Ha ha ha ha...." Then she conked out. Again I shook my head, rolled over and anticipated the break of day, when I would share the tale from her sleeping brain with her alert brain. I couldn't wait to see her reaction. I ask you, being a natural marvel, capable of great intellect, doesn't the human brain have better things to think about? The mechanics of slumbering gray matter perplex me. Why she laughs in her sleep I don't know, but I'm glad she does. I'm happily married, and I assure you, that will never change! I'm looking forward to more of her one liners from la-la-land. Can there be more? I'll keep you posted. Heck, if I collect enough maybe I'll write a book! That's all for now. From my funny little spot in the universe, I bid you well. Over and out. Drew Vics, an artist, writer & musician from New Jersey, writes for http://www.Myey ez.net, and for other websites online. |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories |
