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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy."  Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Space, and the Room for ItSpace exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it. Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the aver... read more Saving SpongeBob Using High TechPut Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobs Spong eBob has been in the news a lot la... read more Wanted: Treadmill for an ElephantMaggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983... read more Marines Dont Take CrapDo Americans Really Understand Irony?Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go... read more [Not So] Outgoing MailI am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theor... read more Its All About Seeing the SignsAce of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest o... read more Cloning Advantage Super FamiliesAs the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicame... read more Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had ProblemsIn Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary... read more Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, RaiseWhile many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related p... read more Cant Get There From HereJuneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywher... read more Slip-sliding On A PeelEvery day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost wi... read more Got Originality?There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of th... read more Important Safety Tip$I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've m... read more |
Its All About Seeing the SignsAce of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest of us from doing so. In fact, on a regular basis, I see a lot of signs - and I don't like most of them. With that in mind, I thought I'd take this week's column to reveal a few examples: Cautio n: Children at Play: Why are we supposed to be cautioned of this - in case they need a steady quarterback? Or, am I interpreting this wrong entirely, and it turns out that all the children are at the theater, and this is some sort of propaganda to tell adults to go too? Either way, I think there needs to be some fine print underneath the warning, preferably written in crayon... Slow: Children at Play: For those who are unable to see colons, this sign poses an even bigger problem than the one above. If these kids are so slow, maybe they should be running laps instead of playing. That way their speed will no longer warrant the production of signs... Warning : Neighborhood Watch: What exactly is the neighborhood watching? Rather than discouraging crime, this sign encourages people to perform acts in the middle of the street, with the knowledge that there will always be an audience... No Parking Here to Corner: I'm tired of being told where I can't park. Instead, tell me where I can. Because of these signs, I now feel that I can park on a rooftop or in a treehouse, simply because there are no signs there... Falling Rock: I thought VH-1 was supposed to be our source for this... No Right Turn: If every turn is a wrong one, this makes driving virtually impossible. Society needs to be more positive, and - as all great historians have never said - that begins with sign making... Anythi ng with the words "when children are present" underneath: This pretty much translates into "Ignore the above statement." Any picture of an animal: This typically means that the animal may be crossing the road, but this ruins the continuity of signs. If there is going to be a picture of a duck crossing, for example, then why not a picture of someone stopping or yielding? And besides, ducks crossing the road aren't funny anymore? unless they are stapled to the chicken, in which case - wow, talk about a laugh riot... But I digress. Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousnes s weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.Progressiv eRevelations.com) |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories |