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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy." Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying ThatMovie moments are nice things to share with the people you care about. Most of those shared moments consist of "Remember that one part when the guy with the thing?" and before they can finish you're interjecting with your own vague, "Oh totally, I love that part!" But occasionally this process extends beyond an inner circle and goes global in its reach. This is where a perfectly fine movie goes to the realm of annoying, because of our need to repeat the catchy lines contained within them. Here is a completely subjective list of movies that have been ruined by our need to copycat. 1. Austin Powers ? "Oh behave." Remember that period after the movie when fairly normal people couldn't resist putting their pinkies in their mouth and incorporating the word shag into a sentence. Oh, that's right, no one wants to remember that. Thank god there were two more movies with the same jokes to remind us. 2. The Godfather ? A fantastic epic that spawned a generation of bad Marlon Brando impersonations. Sans cotton balls. The most overused, dumb line: "It's nothing personal, it's strictly business." Yeah, and I'm the president of Uzbekistan. People that buy into and repeat this line must have forgotten that the same people who proscribed to this guff also chopped off a horse head and put it into someone's bed. 3. Jerry Maguire ? What started with a nice moment between two deaf people signing in an elevator, "You complete me," has somehow ended up with people saying to waiter's at cheesy Italian Restaurants, "You had me at our specials for tonight are." Lucky deaf people. 4. Napoleon Dynamite ? The newest entry, and along with The Godfather combines two elements of mimicry. You can't just say the line, you have to do it in the voice of the performer as well. How could this possibly go wrong? 5. Scarface ? Oh man, give me coke! Give me everything! And after that I'm going to introduce you to my little friend and go down in a blaze of glory! Isn't drug dealing swell! All right, I know that's not the point, but ask any guy what their favorite movie is, and I guarantee not one of them is saying, "You know that Out of Africa was pretty fricking good. Remember when Robert Redford said....." Oh, who am I kidding, I'm a guy; this movie was perfect. Repeat "Say hello to my little friend" as much as you want. 6. Caddyshack ? Not for the lines that are said, but for the fact that nobody can remember what the lines are. If the lines were so memorable, why the hell are we constantly butchering them on the golf course? 7. Warriors ? All right this isn't a good movie, but saying "Warriors, come out and plaayeeeaay" is the equivalent of yelling "Freebird" at a concert. 8. Taxi Driver ? No one's looking at you. Stop pretending that someone is. 9. Forrest Gump ? Why did copying what a mentally retarded person had to say seem like a good idea? No, life isn't like a box of chocolates, most of the time we know what we're getting. Travis Cloud is a freelance writer from Seattle, Washington. |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
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