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EggJr "if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy." Egg Junior says tighten-up! |
Its All About Seeing the SignsAce of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest o... read more Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest TalkingToday, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a g... read more Stopping Bad Breath Bart"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week." Playing Go-Between in the Digital AgeNOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grand... read more The Zapp PrincipleMy dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred... read more Space, and the Room for ItSpace exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it. 11 Alternative Garden GamesTired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Wea... read more The Hidden DrivewayI won't lie: there are a lot of things I want in life, and some of them I'd even pay for. ... read more Wanted: Treadmill for an ElephantMaggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983... read more 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding HelmetA welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, the... read more How I Spent my Summer VacationOne of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant antic... read more To See Or Not To SeeI went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. It ... read more The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing BreachThe Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. T... read more Dumb LuckI've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor ... read more Tales of a Spectator SpectatorWatching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. ... read more |
The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing BreachThe Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole. Three-Thousand pound bags have been dropped into the breach but to no avail. Lake Pontchartrain has a lot of weight behind it and fixing the breach and pumping out the water could take months. I therefore have an idea. Now before you say my idea is crazy, remember the President to think on this and that no idea is too far out, we need to put on our thinking caps. Good, I have an idea. Most of the lawyers in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast have lost their offices in Hurricane Katrina. They can no longer practice law, since no courts are open for them to file lawsuits and lawyers will just hamper rebuilding efforts anyway. I therefore propose that we use Lawyers to fill the New Orleans broken Levees. We help expire as many lawyers as it takes to fill up the breach-gap left by the Hurricane with dead lawyers. Unfortu nately they are so full of shit they do not sink very well. Normally human feces floats and a perfect example of that density proof in physics is the stuff already floating in the New Orleans Soup Bowl. I propose to harden them in a fast heavy plaster mixture with sand bags attached to the abdomen, because it you leave the rope attached which you used to coax them into their civic duty, then eventually the head will depart once submerged for several weeks and we do not want a re-breach if their bodies float away. So we need to leave them secured with straps. Finally a way for the lawyers to pay back society and do some good in the world; Think on this, as there has to be a way to make this happen. "Lance Winslow" - If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkT ank.net/wttbbs |
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EggJr - Cracked, Scrambled and Fried Humor
Jokes, Funny Pictures, and Strange Stories |
