EggJr

"if you don't puke with pure delight we're not happy."


Egg Junior says tighten-up!

Its All About Seeing the Signs

Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest o... read more

Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking

Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a g... read more

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."

OK, so I c... read more

Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age

NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grand... read more

The Zapp Principle

My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred... read more

Space, and the Room for It

Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.

read more

11 Alternative Garden Games

Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your garden party guests? Wea... read more

The Hidden Driveway

I won't lie: there are a lot of things I want in life, and some of them I'd even pay for. ... read more

Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983... read more

25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet

A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, the... read more

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant antic... read more

To See Or Not To See

I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. It ... read more

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. T... read more

Dumb Luck

I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor ... read more

Tales of a Spectator Spectator

Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. ... read more

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole. Three-Thousand pound bags have been dropped into the breach but to no avail. Lake Pontchartrain has a lot of weight behind it and fixing the breach and pumping out the water could take months.

I therefore have an idea. Now before you say my idea is crazy, remember the President to think on this and that no idea is too far out, we need to put on our thinking caps. Good, I have an idea. Most of the lawyers in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast have lost their offices in Hurricane Katrina. They can no longer practice law, since no courts are open for them to file lawsuits and lawyers will just hamper rebuilding efforts anyway. I therefore propose that we use Lawyers to fill the New Orleans broken Levees. We help expire as many lawyers as it takes to fill up the breach-gap left by the Hurricane with dead lawyers.

Unfortu nately they are so full of shit they do not sink very well. Normally human feces floats and a perfect example of that density proof in physics is the stuff already floating in the New Orleans Soup Bowl. I propose to harden them in a fast heavy plaster mixture with sand bags attached to the abdomen, because it you leave the rope attached which you used to coax them into their civic duty, then eventually the head will depart once submerged for several weeks and we do not want a re-breach if their bodies float away. So we need to leave them secured with straps.

Finally a way for the lawyers to pay back society and do some good in the world; Think on this, as there has to be a way to make this happen.

"Lance Winslow" - If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkT ank.net/wttbbs




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